Mend My Soul

"Like the stars hold the moon, right there where they belong"

-When I Look At You, Miley Cyrus

The morning light from the lightly tinted window pane blinded my eyes. I turned to face my soul mate and cuddled up against its softness. Pillow, I love you; now and forever. After rolling around for about 10 minutes, I finally decided on getting out of bed. I slid my feet into my fluffy blue bunny slippers and picked up my watch on the side desk. Funny, the time showed 2008... I'll just need to go to the shop later. My vision was still a blur but I managed to head to the front of my door. The doorknob was cold when I turned it to head out. The sound of music and sizzles filled my ear. I was greeted with the smell of good smelling bacon and eggs. A smile plastered across my face. Nothing beats the smell of breakfast in the morning, I thought as I stepped into the kitchen.

Cadence was already whipping something up for us. She HAS to be the best chef around campus. No one can beat what she cooks. I took in the sight of the room. Aria was sitting at the front couch with her guitar and song sheets. Hm… must be one of those morning inspirations. She was still in her pajamas like me but she, as usual, managed to pull off a way better look than I would ever. Harmony was at her usual spot of the table already bathed and holding up her phone. I bet she’s gotten herself into another one of those Wattpad stories again. 

I sat across the kitchen table and placed my head lightly on the table. My eyes slowly fluttered to dreamland. Before the ship set sailed, “AAAHHHH~!!!” the screech from Harmony burst my eardrums. Cadence dropped an egg to the floor and Aria plucked on the wrong note. Somebody needs to control her chaos!

“Are you crazy?! I could have gotten deaf thanks to you!” I pouted as I looked at her directly in the eyes. She ignored my words. “Darren asked Danni to be with him! Aw!” She melted after reading that sentence. The other two girls gushed along with her. I rolled my eyes. Romance is just too mainstream sometimes. All the stories would start off as a person who’s just mediocre that will fall in love with a really popular guy, which should be in either the football team or the baseball team. The guy realizes that he is falling for the wrong girl all this while and… BAM! Instant love.

I dragged my feet across the room and away from the crazy nuts I live with to take a bath. As soon as I was done, I was greeted with the horrible jungle I called my room. That’s it. No more messy Melody. I turned up my stereo to some amazing songs. I grabbed the vacuum and the duster. Removed my bed sheets and curtains and placed them in the laundry basket. Well, at the side of it since it won’t fit. My dirty clothes were placed at the rightful place. My books were rearranged and my desk was clear as crystal. Not literally though. 

I just noticed that all I was wearing was my robe and a towel on my head. I walked up to my wardrobe and realized that there was ANOTHER mess. I breathed in and let out a loud sigh. I picked up the pace and determined on the clothes that were still good and those that were good to be gone. I pulled out a new bed sheet and placed it on the bed. A new colored curtain was placed on the desk, purple doesn't seem too bad of a color. I will attend to you shortly, I spoke to myself, as if they were going to understand. 

After the curtains were up, bed sheets were spread, the table was cleared, the wardrobe was tidied up, I reached for a white colored t-shirt and a pair of three quarter white pants. I dried my hair and tied it up with a crocodile clip. Before closing the doors behind me, I smiled at what a good job I've done. The laundry was the last thing I had to do. I went to the laundry room which was just across Harmony’s room. The girls were all cuddled up in their blankets watching another romance movie I suppose. I shook my head and separated the light's from the dark's “Anyone want me to wash their laundries as well?” I waited for a while. “Anyone…?” A long pause was heard. “I guess that’s a no.” I shrugged as I removed any scrap paper in the pockets, a habit that I happen to have. 

I was emptying the pockets of an old pair of pants that I haven’t touched for a long while. I wonder when was the last time I wore these? I stuffed my fingers into the deep pockets to find a pink paper with words scribbled on it. The words were obviously my writing since it rather peculiar. I squinted my eyes and saw the words written in capital letters: WILL YOU BE THE FROSTING TO MY CUPCAKE? The memories immediately flashed back. The reason why I never believed in that typical romance was because of this pink paper. Tears started forming in my eyes as I remembered all that happened on that day.

It was so close to the end of summer break. The last day of summer which I had spent my time with Jason, the captain of the swim team. He was perfect, everything every girl had dreamed off. He had gorgeous hazel eyes and a smile that can light up your day. Apart from being incredibly handsome, he had that personality which made me feel attracted to him. He was funny, optimistic and very protective. But I guess he was blinded by what he wanted and forgot about what he had. Yes, I had a major crush on him. In my mind, I pictured us to be together someday, but I guess day dreams will stay daydreams. All summer, he’s been eyeing this girl, Tyra. And, as everyone expected, was the most perfect, top-notch gymnast in school. Next to her, I’m just a stain in the corner of the wall of a big house. There’s no way I’ll ever be his.

As the sunset across the valley, cherishing every moment I had with him, reminiscing the times we had spent with tutoring and video games, cooking and baking, laughing and crying. We were almost like best friends. I decided to brave myself to hand him the pink colored paper. My enthusiastic smile faded away when I saw him holding hands with Tyra. He looked over at me but didn't say anything, he didn't even smile. He looked happy as he finally hung out with his friends. And that’s when I realized that he’ll never be mine. All those days were just but a memory in his brain. Now that he’s gotten his girl and his friends, I guess it's over for me. I crushed the paper and stuffed it in my pockets. With tears in my eyes, I walked past him and whispered “Goodbye Jason Henderson.” All he did was shrug. I was just another myth in his head. 

I snapped back to reality and noticed that the clothes were already in the washing machine. I wiped my tears as I noticed that the girls were getting ready to go out for, well, a formal event I guess? I guess I wasn't invited. I'll just join them in kick-back outside til they're done. The three girls were in front of my room. I walked over to join them but they had already closed the door and headed to the lounge. I could see tears in Cadence’s eyes. “What’s wrong Caddie?” I asked. But she didn't answer me at all. I shrugged away as she walked right past me. 

I tagged along with them in the car to their destination, but no one said a word. I decided to remain silent as well. It was awkward sitting in a car where everyone was wearing black and you’re there like “Nah, I’ll just wear white”. Aria took her turn, parking at the quiet cemetery. Why are they here anyway? I questioned myself but dare not make a sound. They walked along the grassy ground towards a tomb not far. Their eyes were already filled with tears before we got there. 

Aria held the girls’ hands and sat them around the tomb. “Hi, Melody! It’s been 4 years and we miss you terribly. We were reading Wattpad and it reminded us about how much you hated it. We decided to watch the videos we made together... remember?” The girls’ cries overpowered the voice of Aria. “Every day we talk about how you... you would always clean up our rooms for us, so today we decided to change the curtains and the bed sheets to purple, your favorite color.” Tears filled Aria’s eyes. I stepped back a little, stunned by her words. “Your blue bunny slippers are still there too… We really do miss you.” Aria could no longer continue as she sobbed louder. The girls formed a circle and hugged each other. Curiosity got the best of me so I took a step closer and read the words on the tomb.

" "Everybody needs inspiration, everybody needs a song, a beautiful Melody, when the nights are long". Her love and support were our drive for a better tomorrow. You will always remain in our heart and soul, Melody Harper Clark. "

Stay Strong

The walls crumble,
you tumble down on the rocks,
those that you've built out of pain and regrets,
the pain you endure,
with a heavy heart.

You weep of the pain,
the suffering,
the feelings you try to hide,
hiding behind a mask of smiles,
that is slowly tearing apart.

You wash away the rocks of pain,
with tears streaming down your pale white skin,
like the waves of the tsunami,
taking along the houses and cars away,
like the pain you feel today,

"Tomorrow is a new day,
a new start to a new chapter,
a new me, a new mask,
but let this one be sincere"
The words running through your mind,
I suppose.

What do I see in a person like you?
A person with a heart that's pure and true,
you always have my back when I needed you,
supporting me in whatever I do,
"that's what makes you, YOU"

We're all growing up,
older and wiser,
we can't even, really, rely on each other.
For, we all have to learn how to live on our own,
facing the challenges when the days have gone.

Before you carry on with your life ahead,
stand up, stand tall,
be strong, be who you are,
I'll still be here whenever you need me,
I got you, girl. Just trust me.

Back At It

Finally got the chance to write! Semester 2 is over (finally). I would say that I tried my best for this semester. Brass Band is probably my weakest subject. I mean, you know how its been, right? Haih. Communication Theory was also another catastrophe. Still hoping for that Dean's List though.

So, begins the 6 week break! What does Nurin Nasuha have planned? 

NOTHING!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I literally have nothing planned out. This would be the first holidays which I do not know what to do with my life. I thought of getting a job probably but I don't think that's happening. I already have a full-time job of being 'Mama's Personal Assistant' since after SPM. I don't think I'm retiring anytime soon, though. 

I was looking up on things to do to improve your life (because I really feel sloppy recently) and I came across an article on 60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days. I know I only have 6 weeks (42 days only) but I guess its not bad. I'm probably gonna try out a bunch of things on the list, probably post some up while I'm at it. Since I know I can't do EVERYTHING. I'll do some which I think are pretty good

HOME

Live by the mantra: a place for everything and everything in its place. For the next 100 days follow these four rules to keep your house in order:

-If you take it out, put it back.
-If you open it, close it.
-If you throw it down, pick it up.
-If you take it off, hang it up.

HAPPINESSMake a list of 20 small things that you enjoy doing, and make sure that you do at least one of these things every day for the next 100 days. 

Follow the advice proffered by positive psychologists and write down 5 to 10 things that you’re grateful for, every day.

LEARNING/PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Choose a book that requires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day, so that you read it from cover to cover in 100 days.

For the next 100 days, whenever you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop yourself.

HEALTH

For the next 100 days, eat from a smaller plate to help control portion size.

For the next 100 days, instead of carbonated drinks, drink water.

For the next 100 days, set your watch to beep once an hour, or set up a computer reminder, to make sure that you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day.

SOCIAL

For the next 100 days, when someone does or says something that upsets you, take a minute to think over your response instead of answering right away.

Other things to add to the list is:

1. Blog more often.

2. Smile more often. 

3.Practice the piano more often

This seems like good practice to be honest. It's gonna be so much fun! I can't wait to get started~

MOVING IN (again!)

FINALLY!

Got myself settled in for Semester 2 in UiTM Lendu! SO EXCITED. I got Tun Puteri for my college this semester (instead of the beautiful, gorgeous Tun Hasan). To be honest, I don't mind staying here!

I settled in yesterday at around 11am. Registered myself at Dewan Syahbandar. Me, being oblivious, I decided to wear a t-shirt, cardigan, jeans and a pair f ballet flats.

Me: So register at Syahbandar, right?
Tyna: Do we have to wear baju kurung?
Sab: Yup, Syahbandar. idk man I'm wearing palazo for the sake of PB xD
Me: I'm wearing jeans....
Sab: HAAHAH ok idk whether jeans is acceptable... Good luck with that!

Obviously, good citizen Nurin, I decided to change in the car into my baju kurung. YES. IN THE CAR. I could feel people staring into my mom's Exora. The car is tinted, yea, but only the back. The front is FOR DISPLAY. It's like saying "Look! In the car! There's a girl changing her clothes!!" ... Thinking about it again. there's really not much to see. Hm. I grabbed the necessary (aka file, matrix card, I/C, slips...), mama and I went to Dewan Syahbandar IN THE RAIN. Thank God for the spidey umbrella. There were PB's there and WOO THANK GOD I CHANGED! I went to the Tun Puteri counter and surprised to find that WEYHEY same roommates! Crazy things are about to go down. 

We got ourselves to Tun Puteri in the RAINN. Mama was with me all the way heh. Bringing luggage up and down four flights of stairs. Oh dear. Slowly, but surely, all things got moved upstairs and the next thing you know, the rain stops ha. Sab was already in the room so we started clearing up the place. She brought a vacuum and, as expected, we made a huge ruckus! Laughing, cleaning, complaining. In the end, everything looked messy but clean. Thing is, the room has lots of holes. Yes, cement holes. Not hollow though. Lots of sand and stones were coming off each time we sweeped it. Our moms decided that its best we get a mat-like thing to cover the floor.

Soon after, we brought our butts to a well deserved lunch! I don't remember how far Tesco Cheng was from Lendu. I remembered it as a shorter distance, but the directions we got were really far. I could tell that Mama was super tired but she kept going the extra mile. *my mom is the sweetest I swear* We started talking about how spoiled I am (because I am!) and how things were gonna turn up this semester. When we finally reached, we had a meal at the Medan Selera in Teco Cheng (since Secret Recipe was always our destination). We both got the Nasi Goreng Thai and boy was it spicy. 

Long story short.

We got our things, got a duplicate key, drove all the way back to Alor Gajah to get the mat and a baldi, and then back to Lendu.

I was kinda sad, thinking about how I'm gonna leave Mama at home with the sibs and my dad. I know it's a hard time for her, but well. I wish I could do more, but studies seem to be taking over me. I refused to listen to sad songs throughout the journey. I'm talking about you, One Direction!  I hugged Mama one last time and the next thing I knew, I was on my own.

Sab and me cleared a little more, settled in and waited for Tyna who was taking ages to arrive. But, soon enough, we were REUNITED! THS201 is now TPT1403! I sure am lucky to have them as my roommates. I love them like my own children, and they have learnt to call me Mommy. Which I find to be very very amusing. We're gonna make a lot of noise and I wouldn't be surprised at all if the neighbors start complaining. As long as I have my mates, I'm gonna be having a great semester. ;)

Mockingjay Part 1

It was another day at the cinema again for me and the Mas Clan. This time, we hurdled our butts to watch Mockingjay Part 1! Dania's choice of course. I only read the first book 'Hunger Games' from the trilogy. I have a thing where it's either I read til the end or I do not read at all. Guilty. Even so, I still do keep track of the trilogy in the cinemas! (Fair enough, I suppose?)

Mockingjay : Part 1 

Overall, I quite enjoyed the movie. Like Baba said, it was mostly based on the political views. How the Capitol is living high and dry, with riches wide as the eye can see. Where as, the other districts are drowning in a poorly managed wasteland. Hardly able to survive the crazy economical struggle. The movie wasn't too draggy, but it was in fact keeping you at the edge of your seat. It made me question a lot of things. Seeing as how I didn't read the book. But, it all makes sense. 

Of course, who could get over the never ending love triangle of Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthrone. I'm here thinking, GIRL MAKE UP YO MIND, but at the same time, I would most probably be doing the same haaa. I really like Gale *heart eyes* but then again, who doesn't! (Okay, maybe some people. I did encounter a close bunch of people who do not like Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker.) 

I would give this movie a 7/10 rating because yes. If you haven't watched it yet, GET YOUR BUTT TO THE CINEMAS NOWWWW. 

Sudden Realization

I know, I know, I'm only 18! The night is young and so are you! True, true.

Last night, me and my siblings had the usual tickle fight. Iskandar was suffocating me from the bottom and Hannah grabbed hold of my feet. Jasmine on the other hand had her arms grappled on to Mama like a koala on a tree, but still managed to make me laugh from the distance she was at. Dania was in the room enjoying another episode of Victorious while she folded her clothes, leaving her poor old big sister to fend for herself. Oh how we laughed and pushed each other around like a bunch of crazy kids.

As time passed, everyone got sleepy. Baba did the usual routine of switching off the lights and making sure the doors are locked before arming the house. The children were sound asleep (So was mama, who had knocked out about half an hour ago) and all that you could hear was the sound of the television. Baba was still awake, watching another round of football before hitting the hay. I lay there in the middle of the house where all of them gathered for sleepy time. I looked at my siblings; sleeping motionlessly, calmly. 

And that was when it dawned on me.

One day, all of us will face death. Our souls will creep out our body, leaving a lifeless piece of human lying on the ground. Sleeping for all eternity, motionlessly, calmly. We will be 6 feet underground, going back to what we once were. One day, you will leave behind all this. Your family, friends, memories. It was a morbid thought. I've been having these thoughts for the past few nights in the past few weeks. It is creepy, but it also reminds me of my Creator, the Almighty. How He moves the earth in perfect motion. How He makes the world spin at exactly the right moment. How He makes two seas meet but do not mix. 

SubhanAllah. 

I agree. I haven't exactly been the closest to God. I haven't been fulfilling my duties to Him well enough. I think it's about time. It's a sign. He is the only one capable of making me a better person. And so today, I am a changed person.

Big Hero 6

Hello!

Yesterday the fam bam and I decided to watch Big Hero 6! To be honest, I've been waiting for this movie since before I went to college (Somewhere around June?). Yes, I know I'm 18 now but man do I have a soft spot for Animated Movies!

Big Hero 6

The movie made me laugh, cry, angry, panic and all the other emotions combined. You could feel the whole cinema suddenly being so bonded with each other. This would be one of the few Disney movies that do not sing throughout the entire film (not that I have anything against that). Probably because its in collaboration with Marvel Studios. Speaking of which, DO NOT FORGET TO STAY UNTIL AFTER THE END CREDITS! My mistake for not realizing it was a Marvel Movie in the first place. I only found out later that it was incorporated with Marvel studios. So kids, CHECK YOUR FILMS!

 What I really loved about the movie would have to be the fact that everyone is just so nerdy. I would consider myself a science fiction enthusiast. Not much of the doing, but more of the questioning department. It's always the question of 'How did that happen?' 'What caused it?' 'Can I do this experiment at home?' I really loved how Hiro was very enthusiastic about this 'Nerd School' that Tadashi goes to. I like every single character that was in the movie. I also loved how the story was plot twist after plot twist. It was a never ending cycle! I wished that there were more scenes with Tadashi, but then again, I liked the movie just how it was. The highlight of the show was definitely Baymax. Who doesn't love a huggable healthcare robot?! (Screams OW! multiple times until a Baymax appears.)

I would love to share more of the movie, but you simply MUST go watch it. This movie is very moving and can also change your perspective of how you see things. I set this movie right next to Frozen! We all were moved by Frozen. Yes it was kind of overrated, but seeing past all that, Frozen was a great movie. Big Hero 6 is going to be the next big thing! Oh, and for the fangirls out there. Prepare to be out fangirl-ed!